“Life doesn’t get easier or more forgiving, we get stronger and more resilient.” (Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free)

Resilience is one of those words that I don’t quite understand, especially in relation to myself.  When I’ve seen it in other people or heard other people describe resilience, it’s always been in the face of some terrible situation or happening that has taken place or is presently happening in a person’s life.  The person speaking usually says of the person experiencing this event or situation that:  “he/she is resilient and can get through this” or some similar cliche.  Two phone calls I had this past week have given me reason to think about how resilient we are all called to be in this life.

I’ve always been afraid of the “Big C” since I lost my own mother to cancer.  A certain dread still shakes me to the core when someone is diagnosed with this illness or succumbs to it.  The first phone call was about a new diagnosis of lung cancer and the second call later in the week was about a person who has been doing battle with leukaemia for many years.  In the second instance, the person had to be rushed to the hospital severely ill and palliative care is being arranged.  Both people have a special place in my heart.

 In an article I read “Can We Stop Calling Cancer the “Big C”? William Dale, MD, PhD, a geriatrician at the University of Chicago, said that if the war imagery is dropped, then the focus can be on the person with cancer, with the disease accepted as part of that person, rather than being seen as an invading enemy.”  This means that I have to change my attitude about cancer and that’s easier said than done.  I have always seen it as a battle.  I believe that the person with the disease is trying to be as “resilient” as it is in their power to be and so are their loved ones.

This post, as you can probably tell, is a way of working through my own feelings about the news of the last week. After all, cancer doesn’t just affect the person with the disease but takes its toll on family, friends, and caregivers.  In William Dale’s statement (above), the word accepted is there – “disease accepted,” and, perhaps, just perhaps, acceptance is what leads to greater peace.  I’m not sure about this but I’m willing to give it a try.  After all, in difficult experiences and situations, we all need to muster strength from within.  This kind of “resilience” is vital for the person with cancer and those affected by that person’s disease.  There’s so much I still have to learn about “resilience.”

I’m wishing and hoping for good outcomes for my friend and family member – quality time and pain-free living – and much resilience.  To bring this post to an end, here are the words of a cancer survivor:  “I have found that the human spirit is much more resilient than I had imagined.  I have found that friends appear, unasked and undemanding, just when they are needed most –the love of friends is incredibly reaffirming.” Bill, prostate cancer survivor ~ From What Helped Me Get Through.