“The secret of happiness,  you see, is not found in seeking more, but in developing the capacity to enjoy less.”  (Socrates)

For most of my life, I’ve had an insatiable craving for more and more and more of everything.  I craved for more chocolate, more ice-cream, more shoes, more clothing – you name it and I wanted it.  That was when I was a young girl and my needs and wants were at that level.   These things made me feel good and, naturally, I wanted more of them.  I equated the taste and feeling of having certain things with happiness.  That was my meagre understanding of the word.  Of course, this was a false belief.  But, it took a lot more time, maturity, and experience to realize that nothing outside of myself would bring me happiness – at least not for long.   “Happiness is never found in materialistic things; it exists in things that cannot be physically possessed. Therefore, happiness is priceless. It can never be purchased.” (Ellen J. Barrier)

As time went on, my wants and cravings became bigger.  As I have grown older, I have come to realize that it took an enormous amount of energy and stamina to satisfy cravings for more, bigger and better. Furthermore, the bigger house, the higher position, the affluent crowd, did not bring happiness, peace of mind, and contentment.  Wanting more brought more stress, more unhappiness, and  more worry.  It was not the prescription for a life of freedom.  “It is preoccupation with possession, more than anything else, that prevents men from living freely and nobly.”    (Bertrand Russell)

Yet, the concept of being content with what I had or even the idea of having less never occurred to me.  Conditioning and advertising were probably responsible for this mind-set.   I became prey to what was in those glossy magazines, and flashing across my television screen.   It was easy to succumb to the temptations around me rather than pay attention to my inner voice.

The inner voice was always quietly saying:  “You have lots of things, much more than you need or use.  Get rid of those things you don’t use or don’t even know you have.  You will feel freer and your spirit will be lighter.  You will have time for the things that really matter to you.  What other people have is right for them but it may not be right for you.”   Did I listen?  No.  For many years I just bought more and wanted more of what I admired that other people had.  “We call it keeping up with the Joneses. They buy a boat and we buy a bigger one. They get a new TV and we get a big screen. They start a business and we start planning our articles of incorporation and the first stock release. And while we’re so busy keeping up, we ignore our soul, the inner voice, that’s telling us that it really wants to teach children to read. While it helps to identify with each other, we’re not the same. So why compare ourselves on the basis of material things? Are you walking a path with heart in your own life, regardless of what others have?”  (Melody Beattie)

It’s been a long journey of 68 years to realize that nothing outside of me that I buy or possess will bring me to a magical state of happiness.  In fact, the more I buy and possess, the more I have to worry about.  I realize that it’s the simple pleasures that cause my heart to sing – like a beautiful sunset, the visit of a Bluejay on the balcony,  having tea with a friend I haven’t seen for a long time, painting a picture or learning something new.  It’s the meaningful, worthwhile experiences that enrich my life and those around me that cause me to feel joy. I will forget all the things I bought and acquired and craved for but the moments in which I connected with my best self are the times I will always remember and be happy for.  “A happy life is one which is in accordance with its own nature.”  ( Seneca) 

At this stage of life, I don’t need very much at all.  It takes very little to make me happy.   I didn’t come with anything and I can take nothing out with me.  I don’t want or crave for anything that anybody has.  How I wish I had been this content before.   Abraham Maslow said:  The most fortunate are those who have a wonderful capacity to appreciate again and again, freshly and naively, the basic goods of life, with awe, pleasure, wonder and even ecstasy.

Maslow was right – it’s all about the basics.  This is no secret.