Friendship

Do you know that International Friendship Day is August 6th? This is a wonderful time to reflect on the important role that friendship plays in our lives.  We need our friends just as much as they need us.  When I thank one of my dear friends for anything, and I voice how special her friendship is to me, she always says:  “It’s a mutual fan club.”  We both appreciate each other.

Friends Are Flowers In The Garden Of Life ( Anonymous)
               Friends Are Flowers In The Garden Of Life
                                        ( Anonymous)

Some of you may not even have heard of International Friendship Day so here is a little background information.  Friendship Day was originally founded by Hallmark in 1919. It was intended to be a day for people to celebrate their friendship by sending each other cards, but by 1940 the market had dried up, and eventually it died out completely. However, in 1998 Winnie the Pooh was named the world’s Ambassador of Friendship at the United Nations (believe it or not!), and in April 2011 the United Nations officially recognised 30th July as International Friendship Day; although most countries celebrate on the first Sunday of August!” (daysoftheyear.com)  In this busy world we find ourselves living in, it’s easy to take our friends for granted.  Maybe on this International Friendship Day, you could call an old friend you haven’t seen for a long time or better yet meet for a coffee and chat.  There are myriads of ways to acknowledge friendship and only you know what is the best way for you and your friend.

"Friendship marks a life even more deeply than love. Love risks degenerating into obsession, friendship is never anything but sharing." ― Elie Wiesel
“Friendship marks a life even more deeply than love. Love risks degenerating into obsession, friendship is never anything but sharing.”
― Elie Wiesel

Some of us are fortunate to be blessed with many friends and some of us with a few or maybe just one friend.  Whether we have many or just a few, they are an important part of who we are and who we become.  In a way, they make us or break us.

Who are these people we call our friends?  Who are our true friends?  What does friendship entail?  Does friendship require history?   Do we ever outgrow our friendships?

"Animals are such agreeable friends ― they ask no questions, they pass no criticisms." ― George Eliot
“Animals are such agreeable friends ― they ask no questions, they pass no criticisms.” ― George Eliot

For me, my friends are those people I am happy to see and be with.  I enjoy their company and find it easy to talk with them.  I can share “secrets” with them and they can do the same with me.  I trust that what I share with them is safe.  I respect them and they respect me. We have one or more things in common that we enjoy doing together.  I am there for them and they are there for me – in good and in bad times.  We have a kind of “soul connection” that is difficult to explain.  Henry David Thoreau sums it up well when he says:  “The language of friendship is not words but meanings.  It is an intelligence above language.”

What of true friends?   After you’ve lived to be my age, you know that true friends and true loves are few and far between.  Lucky is the person who has experienced one true friendship and one true love.   A true friend for me is someone who appreciates my good qualities, knows all my faults and failings, and makes allowances for those.  I don’t have to wear masks with this person.  They can see me as I really am, warts and all.  “True friendship can afford true knowledge. It does not depend on darkness and ignorance.”  (Henry David Thoreau) 

“being articulate is not a facility of language but a fidelity to vision. And so we are all articulate when finding the courage to say what we see.” ― Mark Nepo
“being articulate is not a facility of language but a fidelity to vision. And so we are all articulate when finding the courage to say what we see.”
― Mark Nepo

The question of whether friendship requires history came about because I had the wonderful opportunity to meet up twice with old high school friends recently.  Some of us hadn’t seen each other for decades.  We were happy to see each other and we shared food, laughter, and stories.  We talked about how we became friends, about our nuns and teachers, and about our lives now as well.  We even gossiped a little about some of our more “colourful” classmates.  There was a lot of catching up to do but It was easy to connect because we shared a certain history.  It was amazing too for me to hear things about myself that I didn’t even know.  “The best mirror is an old friend.” (Peter Nivio Zarlenga)

I cannot even imagine where I would be today were it not for that handful of friends who have given me a heart full of joy. Let's face it, friends make life a lot more fun. (Charles R Swindoll)
I cannot even imagine where I would be today were it not for that handful of friends who have given me a heart full of joy. Let’s face it, friends make life a lot more fun.
(Charles R Swindoll)

Whether our friends are old friends or new ones doesn’t really matter.  We are friends because we can share together.  Over the course of a lifetime, friends come and go as we come and go in what our lives are calling us to experience and live out.  We have school friends, work friends, church friends, gym club friends and friends for other activities.  The list is endless.  There are times we see our friends and times we don’t.  But whenever we have the opportunity to meet up again, it always fills us with joy.

Breaking with old friends is one of the most painful of the changes in all that piling up of a multitude of small distasteful changes that constitutes growing older. John Dos Passos Read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/j/johndospas401801.html
Breaking with old friends is one of the most painful of the changes in all that piling up of a multitude of small distasteful changes that constitutes growing older.  (John Dos Passos)

As we age, we lose friends. Some pass on and others can’t do what they used to do before.  Friendship takes on a more universal face and we tend to be more reflective about our lives.  I love seeing my old friends and cherish them but my friends now tend to be those I can keep up with.  Sometimes there isn’t the energy to do things so more understanding and compassion are required when our friends are seniors.  The realization that all people age differently is something we are called to recognize.  If we outgrow our friendships, this is how it usually happens.

And let there be no purpose in friendship save the deepening of the spirit. (Kahlil Gibran)
And let there be no purpose in friendship save the deepening of the spirit.
(Kahlil Gibran)

But life being what it is, I’m sure we can all agree that our friendships are important to us and have helped us to learn and grow as people.  In many cases, friends are like family.  Cherish your friendships and have a very Happy International Friendship Day.  “Best things in life:  Friends that are like family, and family, which are like friends.”  (Anonymous)