Category: Learning

This year has gone by very quickly.  It feels like it was just the other day I was preparing for Christmas 2015.  “Time flies when you’re having fun.”  Well, to tell the truth, it wasn’t all fun.  Life has its challenges and there are always valuable lessons to learn as we spend our days here on Earth.  For anyone thinking that lessons stop when you leave school, I have news for you.  They begin on the day you are born and continue until the day you take your last breath. I am 67 and learning many valuable lessons at this stage of my life. As the saying goes: “It ain’t over till it’s over.”

It seems that most of my learning this year took place as a result of following the preamble to the US election and election night with which you are all familiar.  As one who has never been immersed in the politics of any nation, even Canada where I live, this was a unique situation.  Many people told me they found themselves following the election news too despite not being politically inclined.

1.   Be flexible in one’s thinking and accepting of reality.  On the night of the U.S. election, I made a big batch of popcorn, got a drink, and seated myself in front of TV for the election results.  I was excited for this historical event that would take place in my life and for women everywhere – a female U.S. President.  There was no other outcome in my mind.  Energy was high.  As the evening wore on and the results poured in, my energy became drained and I became sleepy.  The only thing to do was to stop watching early and go to sleep.  I had one idea in mind and did not envision an alternative outcome. This set me up for huge disappointment and despair.  If I had weighed in on the other alternative (a Trump win), I would have remained peaceful and calm and turned the TV off accepting of the way things were going.  Failure to accept reality and inflexible thinking caused my body, mind, and spirit unnecessary stress.
2. Life is too precious to waste time.  I should have known better than to spend untold hours watching and hearing what the now President-elect was saying and doing prior to the elections. There was way too much drama and innuendo taking place at all levels that made me upset and brought my spirit down.  Avoid negative and drama-filled people and situations irregardless of whether they are political figures, royalty, or just the ordinary man on the street.
3. Financial Wealth is not a barometer of decency and regard for the feelings of others. It’s a blessing to be able to inherit any kind of wealth.  One who is fortunate to have had an inheritance of money and been able to double or triple that has financial smarts. Poverty is hard.  However, the qualities of wisdom, decency, good manners, kindness, respect for oneself and others, reveal character.  I saw wealthy people during this election cycle devoid of any “wealth” in this respect. The life lesson here is that quality is more important than the quantity of money or possessions one may have.
4. Accept and love people in their present circumstances and situations. At an Expressive Art Class that I participated in recently, I was privileged to meet some beautiful people from different backgrounds and cultures. We didn’t have to have any artistic experience to be part of this. Some of the people were refugees from Iran and Iraq. As the weeks progressed and we shared freely about our Art with each other in the group, I realized the impact of war on their lives. Everything said in the group was confidential. This was not my first experience with refugees. Our two-month course session finished last week and as we parted, we hugged and left each other with volumes of space in our heart to be friends. We were friends. The life lesson here is that when individuals and countries speak badly of refugees or refuse to take them in, I must not and you must not listen to them. There is a place in each of our hearts that knows that we could have been in the same circumstances if we had been born in certain countries.  Love them and welcome them and help them to heal.  We are all healers of each other.
5. It isn’t till death do us part for any relationships.  People come into our lives and just as they come in, they can go out. This is the reality of life.  As one with strong commitment ideals based on Christian upbringing – ideals such as loyalty, perseverance, stamina, and “love”, this is a hard learning.  Our ideas, interests, states of being and doing as people, change throughout a lifetime.  Our consciousness changes.  We are always learning and growing and many times the people around us are not changing at the same rate as we are or vice-versa.  This is not good or bad but just a reality.  I’m not talking “romantic” relationships although it includes those.  I have lost touch with many people who were once a very important part of my life.  In the past, I was reluctant to let go.  However, this year I am more open to seeing that they were there for a season and that the season is over.  I can bless them and the time we were there for each other and release them to the Universe with love. I realize that in #4, I am saying to accept and love and that in #5, I am talking about “letting go” with love.  The life lesson for me is that these two realities exist in human life.
6. Attending a church, synagogue, temple, or other physical place of worship has more to do with tradition than with a changed heart.  I was raised going to Sunday School and Church every Sunday.  For most of my life, I associated the physical act of going to the sanctuary with goodness and holiness.  I liked to think I was a good student of the religious teachings imparted to me by my elders and a devout follower and believer. However, different events in my life have caused me to look within myself and my heart and conclude that physically entering a place of worship every day or on Sundays does not in itself “create a clean heart in me or renew a right spirit within me.”  The transformation that really brings about positive change in my own life and actions must come from within my own heart and being.  The life lesson in this regard is to be gentle with myself and others about my/their religious smugness, self-righteousness, and judgmental attitudes.

“We don’t find God
in temples and cathedrals.
We don’t find Him
by standing on a
prayer rug or sitting in a pew.
God appears when we
love someone other than ourselves.
And we continue to feel His presence
when we do good for others.
Because God is not found
in mosques and synagogues.
He resides in our
hearts.”
― Kamand Kojouri

    7.    Life is like a relay race. You run the race and pass the baton.

          As the years go by and there are fewer years ahead than those behind, I find myself                   doing a kind of “self examination.” My baby brother turned sixty this year and that event was such a big milestone in my life. It brought me to retracing the whole of my life. I thought of all the people who have mentored me throughout my life – parents, teachers, family, friends, and so many others – and was grateful. Without consciously aware of teaching or mentoring anyone, I was thrilled when one of my friends made me a pair of earrings as a Christmas present. She had seen me making jewelry as a hobby and had asked me to take her to the store to get some supplies and show her how to make earrings, bracelets, and necklaces – which I did. Here she was giving me something that I had taught her to make. She would be away for Christmas so she gave it to me early. Many of the small things we do have an impact, even if it is just to that one person. I also thought of the time that I volunteered to teach English to refugees after I retired. I learned so much from them,  We are the teachers and the taught at the same time. There is always a leading and a following going on in life situations. Many small instances such as the one I described above “hit” me this year and the life lesson for me was that life is like a relay race. You do the best you can as you run your race of life and leave others behind to carry on. Hopefully, the impact of our being here is more positive than negative.  George Bernard Shaw said, “Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I’ve got ahold of for the moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations.”

Day in and day out this year, there were life lessons but the above are some that came to mind as I wrote this post.  Perhaps, sometime later I can share some others in another post.  For now, Merry Christmas and a very Happy, Healthy, and Joyful New Year to all.